When Tony Said recently "the days of the old-fashioned newsroom are over", he didn't know the half of it!

RELIABLE SOURCES have informed this website that the American newspaper, The New York Times, passed away on October 20 at the age of 156. The same sources indicate that despite initial reports attributing the cause of death to chronic jaundice, the coroner’s report is expected to state the once-proud media outlet, formerly referred to as “the newspaper of record” by people who should have known better, died of self-inflicted wounds.

News of the fatality arrived at this site through a telephone call from the offices of the Saga Shimbun, a local newspaper in Japan. When asked if the reports of the Times’ demise were credible, the informant stated the Saga newspaper’s employees had spent the day in stunned disbelief and laughter after reading this article, which appeared on the 20th. “If they think this is journalism,” the informant stated, “rigor mortis set in decades ago. It’s absurd, starting with the premise, and it gets worse with each paragraph. I’m surprised this story got past an editor during the first draft.”

Update: Another aging and sclerotic Manhattan dowager seems to be having a strange case of incontinence these days.