Alec Baldwin, a decade of class: It was nine years ago that he ranted to Conan O'Brien and his audience that "We would stone Henry Hyde to death and we would go to their homes and we’d kill their wives and their children!" This month, as Ace notes, he goes Paul Anka on his 11-year old daughter, via her mom's answering machine:

After Ireland failed to answer her father's scheduled morning phone call from New York on April 11, Alec went berserk on her voice mail, saying "Once again, I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone," adding, "you have insulted me for the last time."

Switching his train of thought, Baldwin then exercised his incredible parenting skills and took a shot at his ex-wife, declaring, "I don't give a damn that you're 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do." The irate Baldwin went on to say, "You've made me feel like s**t" and threatened to "straighten your ass out."

"This crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother," screamed Baldwin, "and you do it to me constantly over and over again."

I'd like to think that somewhere, Cathy Seipp is loving all of this.