When I saw the news reports on My.Yahoo page last night that Terrell Owens, the Dallas Cowboys' awesomely talented and awesomely troubled wide receiver was rushed to the hospital last night and had his stomach pumped, I thought, nahh...it can't be a suicide attempt, can it?

According to AP, it is. Or it isn't. Or it was, but now it isn't. Confused? Be glad you're not as confused as T.O. himself, who once again turns a team quietly preparing for its next opponent (the hapless 0-3 Tennessee Titans this Sunday) into The All T.O. All The Time Show.

In any case, so much for those fearless NFL prognosticators who wrote, "Terrell Owens will be on his best behavior this coming season", back in March...

Update (12:40 PM PDT): At a televised press conference, T.O., dressed in sweats, a blue Cowboys T-shirt, and earrings says "there was no suicide attempt--the rumor of me taking 35 pills is absurd". Claims that stories of his stomach being pumped are false. He certainly looks and sounds fine--he says that he was working out and catching passes from QB Drew Bledsoe before his press conference.

A reporter asked him if he was depressed: "I'm not depressed by any means. I'm happy to be here--I came here to help this team get on a roll and win playoff games", adding "It's absurd for [press] reports to go from an allergic reaction to a suicide attempt".

Update: Less snark, more substance, here.