IF IT'S TUESDAY, I MUST BE THE FORMER SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: I just downloaded the 57 bazillion emails I received while I was away from a broadband connection for a couple of days. 56.5 bazillion of them were spam, but this one is a classic:

From your latest column:

"One needs to point out that the pan-Arab media said nothing when the Syrian dictator Hafez al-Assad destroyed Hama and killed more than 10,000 of his own innocent people, or when Saddam Hussein used poison gas on Iraqis and created 300,000 anonymous graves."

Guess which liberal ****sucker gave Saddam the gas along with anthrax, smallpox, and other bacterial cultures in '83-'84? (I can talk like this 'cause Cheney proved it in the Senate last week.) Donald Rumsfeld gave him the gas and germ cultures for the Reagan administration and admitted it before Congress in testimony last March. Look it up.

The whole country is getting hip to neocon ***holes like you, Rummy, and Bush. Crowds are flocking to Fahrenheit 9/11 and recognizing the truth when visual evidence is shown to them. AND YOU CAN'T DO A THING ABOUT IT. The days of hysterical demagogue liars like you, Coulter, "Savage", the Limbaughs, Hannity, and the rest are coming to an end. These little piggies are going home. Bye-bye.

And I don't want to embarrass somebody who has confused me with Newt Gingrich.

(Does Newt receive nastygrams about his latest posts in Blogcritics?)